• Really liking SQL Server 16

      • Posted 03/20/2017 10:39 PM - Hide
      • Porting a big transactional / customer facing system over to it from SQL08R2. The new cardinality based optimizer that they originally fucked up in 2014 seems to rock about 90% of the time but when it fails. It fails like Spanky attempting to walk to the bathroom while a 5th meal from Taco Bell is about to release itself all over the floor. A simple Loop hint to an inner join is all that stands from a quick tight execution plan and massive cluster fuck of index scans hash joins and 4,000,000 reads.
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      • SamLowrey
      • Unregistered coward
      • Re: Really liking SQL Server 16
        Posted 03/20/2017 10:45 PM - Hide
      • SamLowrey posted:
        Doesn't the cloud do it all now?

        J/K

        We are already sharding this system through Azure in the US, Europe and China through 21/vianet mooncake but its much much smaller data sets so stuff like this doesn't really come into play.. The mothership is still bare metal in deepest darkest Africa. Always will be. There is still a huge fucking difference between virtualized SQL and the real thing. Its like fucking a woman with a condom and then finally barebacking her.
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      • .
      • Unregistered coward
      • Re: Really liking SQL Server 16
        Posted 03/20/2017 10:54 PM - Hide
      • SQL Server 16...

        "I wrote it."
        \
        :trev:
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      • .foodstampdba
      • Unregistered coward
      • Re: Really liking SQL Server 16
        Posted 03/20/2017 11:08 PM - Hide
      • Gutt Pile posted:
        Porting a big transactional / customer facing system over to it from SQL08R2. The new cardinality based optimizer that they originally fucked up in 2014 seems to rock about 90% of the time but when it fails. It fails like Spanky attempting to walk to the bathroom while a 5th meal from Taco Bell is about to release itself all over the floor. A simple Loop hint to an inner join is all that stands from a quick tight execution plan and massive cluster fuck of index scans hash joins and 4,000,000 reads.

        The last SQL server I really did major work with was 2000 I believe. Still have to deal with those table scans and hints. Set showplan on..

        Also Sybase before. Moved on to Oracle and others.

        I could only imagine how fucking powerful that is now.

        I imagine getting it like being powerfucked by an army of experienced Bears.

        I bet the query planner can optimize sex with 50 women, telling you which hole to stick it in and how long for the most pleasure.
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      • .foodstampdba
      • Unregistered coward
      • Re: Really liking SQL Server 16
        Posted 03/20/2017 11:10 PM - Hide
      • Sql server is fucking expensive too. Most of the Jew places I worked for wouldn't pay for it.

        SQL SERVER is like getting fucked by a 3000/night hooker.

        A 400/night one has 3 holes too....

        MySql or MariaDB isn't that bad.
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      • Re: Really liking SQL Server 16
        Posted 03/20/2017 11:14 PM - Hide
      • .foodstampdba posted:
        The last SQL server I really did major work with was 2000 I believe. Still have to deal with those table scans and hints. Set showplan on..

        Also Sybase before. Moved on to Oracle and others.

        I could only imagine how fucking powerful that is now.

        I imagine getting it like being powerfucked by an army of experienced Bears.

        I bet the query planner can optimize sex with 50 women, telling you which hole to stick it in and how long for the most pleasure.

        It depends on what you are doing and how much data you are working with. Once you get into multi partitioned multi TB shit and throw a few joins in between multi billion row tables you still need to know what you are doing. That is where most of your ORMs fall apart and start killing you. If you went the sproc route you can optimize the shit out of things. Otherwise you have the database aids.
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      • .foodstampdba
      • Unregistered coward
      • Re: Really liking SQL Server 16
        Posted 03/20/2017 11:19 PM - Hide
      • Gutt Pile posted:
        .foodstampdba posted:
        The last SQL server I really did major work with was 2000 I believe. Still have to deal with those table scans and hints. Set showplan on..

        Also Sybase before. Moved on to Oracle and others.

        I could only imagine how fucking powerful that is now.

        I imagine getting it like being powerfucked by an army of experienced Bears.

        I bet the query planner can optimize sex with 50 women, telling you which hole to stick it in and how long for the most pleasure.

        It depends on what you are doing and how much data you are working with. Once you get into multi partitioned multi TB shit and throw a few joins in between multi billion row tables you still need to know what you are doing. That is where most of your ORMs fall apart and start killing you. If you went the sproc route you can optimize the shit out of things. Otherwise you have the database aids.

        ORMS suck. Had a job where they were in a situation where detail records were fucking coming back after lunch. ORM was sending thousands of queries. I came in as an expert. Manager though said no SQL queries, said to do it only thru the ORM. Didn't end well :(. I told him its fucking impossible and I demonstrated queries and how fast it would be.
        Management just wanted the job done and told me to tell him to fuck off and just implement it. Then I pissed my manager off when I converted a few hundred queries to SQL.

        I ended up being told by him to resign. A few weeks later my manager was fired. What a shitshow.
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      • .foodstampdba
      • Unregistered coward
      • Re: Really liking SQL Server 16
        Posted 03/20/2017 11:25 PM - Hide
      • Super creepy rob Low posted:
        Im a SQL Server DBA, but we JUST went to SQL 2012. We are 2 product cycles behind.

        big corps are always behind like that.
        Place I worked for still using visual studio 2010 :(
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      • .
      • Unregistered coward
      • Re: Really liking SQL Server 16
        Posted 03/20/2017 11:30 PM - Hide
      • another one posted:
        Super creepy rob Low posted:
        Im a SQL Server DBA, but we JUST went to SQL 2012. We are 2 product cycles behind.

        I only got to know 2008 R2 a couple years ago :sadwave:

        :rofl:

        Some places still using sql server 2003
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      • Gpile
      • Unregistered coward
      • Re: Really liking SQL Server 16
        Posted 03/21/2017 12:01 AM - Hide
      • another one posted:
        I only got to know 2008 R2 a couple years ago :sadwave:

        :rofl:

        08r2 is a damn good product. They went way overboard in feature bloat and a lot of newer shit is still vapor/abandonware. Master data services is a great example. In memory oltp was also half assed in 14. 12 is a good upgrade to 08. A glorified service pack. 14 is where they broke the optimizer.
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      • Gpile
      • Unregistered coward
      • Re: Really liking SQL Server 16
        Posted 03/21/2017 12:02 AM - Hide
      • . posted:
        Some places still using sql server 2003

        You mean 05. There was no 03.
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